Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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