Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
