That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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