I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My vagina is very pro this idea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
