I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
