Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
