What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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