are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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