just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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