Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
