oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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