he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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