it wasn't lemon gatorade
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
