i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
