Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
