We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
