Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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