Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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