its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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