i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
