Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry about my life...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
