i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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