My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
