after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
