im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
