That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
