need another drink. this is the easiest way
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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