Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
