We won't sleep together?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
