...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
