You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
