i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Buhtt sex?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need a beard to bite.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
