Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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