Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
