in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
