I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
