and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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