I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
