Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
