i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
