Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's the barista slut.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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