You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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