are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
