I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
