Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
