i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
