What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
