I want to have your abortion
too bad you live with your parents still
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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