this beer tastes like vomit already
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
