I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
