Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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