At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
