The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
