Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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