I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize