I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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