he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize