Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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