lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
