I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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