Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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