So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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