I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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