I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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