Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
